How Cultural Competency Elevates My Relational EMDR Therapy℠ Practice
When I first opened my practice, I believed understanding the culture and traditions of my clients was the primary way to create a special connection – and that speaking the same language was the “cherry on top” to make the connection deeper and stronger. I thought being bilingual and being born and raised in Peru would help me connect in significant ways with the Latin community.
I discovered that while being knowledgeable and respectful of the role of culture and language in my clinical work is important, it is not everything.
This realization was possible due to my journey of becoming a Relational EMDR therapist, which impacted all aspects of my life and motivated me to write this blog.
By learning from my own experience, I hope you allow yourself to reflect on yours…and be courageous to take your practice to the next level.
Learning About Cultural Competency
When I attended graduate school, my interest piqued in a class about cultural competency. Prior to emigrating to America, the concept of ‘cultural competency’ was not present in my mind. I felt that as an immigrant, experiencing cultural challenges was expected and that my mind and body were doing the best they could. Learning about cultural competency allowed me to find words for the many experiences and feelings I was having but did not know how to make sense of it.
I did not know that my feelings of loneliness and sadness were related to the lack of opportunity to speak the language, greet people with a hug and a kiss, enjoy Peruvian food, or spend hours talking with my friends. I was deeply homesick, but I did not know it until I was offered the opportunity to learn and have a shared experience with other immigrants like me.
We all shared feeling lost, sad, confused, excited, and nostalgic about how to start a new life here. Being with my classmates and trying to understand each other while learning a new language created connection.
The experience of feeling connected with another human being allowed space for new and positive memories to be created, while still coping with my own mixed feelings.
My first job as a case manager involved home visits in rural areas. I worked with Latin families who welcomed me with open arms and wanted to share a meal with me. My job also put me in situations in which people would not understand me or make fun of my accent.
My reaction was to work harder to get more familiar with the culture and the language.
I believed that the harder I worked to learn, the greater my chances of feeling like I belonged and the less lonely I would be. I didn’t realize that my response to discomfort was to push myself even harder, without recognizing how much I was already doing.
EMDR and Being Relational
My personal journey led me to learn about EMDR.
My therapist explained EMDR and how it could help me. I recall experiencing relief and how the therapist’s presence made a difference, in a time in which I was feeling so lonely, lost, and scared. When I walked out of her office, I promised myself to learn about EMDR. Years later, it was the first thing I did when I got my professional license.
As I was feeling more confident implementing EMDR in my practice and coming across more complicated cases, I wanted to learn how to be more helpful. I attended more trainings and joined consultation groups. While that was helpful, it wasn’t until I explored Relational EMDR Therapy℠ (R-EMDR) and pursued ongoing consultation that I could honor my passion as a therapist.
While EMDR is a powerful form of psychotherapy to help individuals find relief from their symptoms, Relational EMDR Therapy℠ takes it to the next level. It’s not just about filling our clinical toolbox with a series of trainings and certifications. It’s about our capacity as clinicians to be with our clients while they face their biggest fears and pains, while also being present to our own experience, keeping in mind how that may affect how we show up and the clinical decisions we make.
It is about doing our own work.
After all, how can I ask my clients to do the work that I am not willing to do?
Learning about my biggest struggles, how I am dealing with them, and the “why” behind it opened doors not just for personal healing, but also, for the capacity to be present with my clients in the way they need me to be with them.
Before learning about R-EMDR, if I was working with an avoidant client for example, I exhausted myself trying to figure out what to do so the client could find relief, rather than responding to their avoidance in a way that invited self-awareness and choice. So, instead of taking responsibility for their struggle, I use my own experience with it, making it relational as part of the moments between us, both in and out of reprocessing.
As I learned more about R-EMDR through training and consultations, I allowed myself to explore the self of the therapist as working with my more challenging clients can trigger me. Through this process, I came to understand what was happening in me and in my work, and how my “working harder” was my adaptation that prevented me from being fully present.
As a R-EMDR clinician, I can now show up with the understanding that we are doing the work together. I can name the avoidance or let people face their biggest fears using my presence, knowing what is happening to them, what is happening to me, and the capacity to be present.
The Next Level with R-EMDR
While my clinical and consultation practice is largely with the Latin community, I also work with clients who are interested in doing deep work and are willing (or at least curious) to connect with themselves as part of their journey towards healing.
When someone in session uses a term/word/expression that I don't understand due to language barriers or mentions a cultural trend from the past that I can’t relate to, I ask for clarification if I don’t know the meaning, because otherwise, I can’t meet my clients where they are.
When I can be with my not knowing, or with uncertainty, my clients always seem to appreciate it. While it is a challenge for me to be with that uncertainty, I know it helps me as well as my clients. I can model for them that is okay to be vulnerable.
Holding Space for Curiosity & Vulnerability
Regardless of how many certifications or trainings we have as therapists, they mean nothing if we are not culturally educated, and if we don’t allow ourselves to join our clients where they need us.
It’s important to be relational in our approach so our treatment plans not only reflect the clinical themes and challenges our clients face, but it also honors their identities, how that informs how our clients see themselves, and how they feel the world sees them.
Feeling understood is powerful. We must consider the context in which a person lives.
Be proud of your capacity to recognize what you don’t know and invite yourself to learn about it.
Each of us represents a unique culture: the culture of self, with its own language, geography, and traditions. When we are struggling, having the capacity to understand why we struggle the way we do is not easy. We need the support, guidance, and respect of good clinicians who have the capacity to be present. That can only happen if clinicians learn to develop their own capacity to be relational.
I thought “shared culture” would take care of my need of connection, and that it would also be the best way to connect with others. As I reflect on my journey to be a R-EMDR therapist, I continue to value the need to understand each of my client’s unique set of experiences and background.
But that is only half of the job. The other half is showing up with curiosity, compassion, and the courage to be vulnerable—both inside and outside the therapy room.
The takeaway?
Realize the importance of doing the work and consider how your own experience sometimes gets in the way of your clinical work. Be curious about how efficient and effective you can be as a therapist.
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