The Power of Connection and Community

When I began putting pen to paper to write about my vision and aspirations for The Center this year, I found myself thinking of my very first psychotherapy mentor from many years ago.  

Why, you ask?  

Because my mentor understood at a cellular level, the importance of presence.  

Rudy Bauer was a much-loved therapist and mentor in our community, who ran training groups for therapists.  

A group of 30 of us would meet once a month, all day, and after delivering a lecture to set the tone, we worked with one another experientially. He would have us sit with one another in dyads (a group of two people) and track the felt sense connection without uttering a word. 

Then, he would invite us to open our hearts to one another and continue to track the moment to moment unfolding of experience. 

I remember feeling both terrified of not knowing what to do and at the same time excited to embark on this unchartered territory of feeling my way through, rather than knowing my way through.  

He conducted these sessions with us in the same way that he was inviting us to work with our clients. 

Month after month, year after year, we would meet in the basement of their house as we sat cross-legged on the floor in a large circle. We’d break into small practice groups, do some personal work, come back and talk about it, and do it again the next month. And the next year. And the year after that. 

It helped build capacity and openness to the unknown that is now my superpower today. 

There was no hiding in that room! 

You couldn’t just act like you knew what was going on. 

You had to show up and be REAL. 

By requiring us to show up, he invited us to be brave and to trust that felt sense connection between us. 

 
To this day, I think back on that fondly, with great appreciation and gratitude.  

It was the power of connection that helped us lean into that place of openness and possibility.  

These experiences set the groundwork for stepping into EMDR therapy as an experiential approach that invites us to be with our clients, moment to moment, with an open heart to all that is possible in that space between us. 

It’s in the WE, not the me, and not just the client. 

So how do we, as therapists, gift ourselves with that connection that recharges our systems so we can continue to bring our best selves to this work as healers? 

Every therapist I know enjoys being a therapist – they want to help people feel better and do better. It’s a passion we bring to this work and it’s in alignment with our values.  

However, part of the challenge of this work is that it’s a solitary experience.  

When we close the door (whether it’s a virtual door or a real door), we are working with our client, and then we’re working with the next client and our next client… 

One of the ongoing challenges we all have in this profession is how to stay in connection and in community. 

It got me thinking…how do we build a greater sense of community through The Center for Excellence in EMDR Therapy? How do we support one another, grow together and promote a greater sense of working authentically with our clients? 

The Inherent Community and Connection of Consultation Groups 

One thing that gives me a sense of community and connection is being part of a consultation group. Every member of The Center’s faculty is part of an ongoing monthly consultation group that also requires us to show up and be real.  

We all have a need for connection, and all have a need for relationship with people who are like-minded and struggling with similar challenges.  

Whether we want affirmation that we’re on the right track with a case, or we need to process a difficult clinical situation or relational dynamic, we need to have a sacred space where we can be open and honest about how we’re doing and what we need.  

One of the benefits of being in a consultation group is that we’re not alone in our work.  

We have all these people who are “in it” with us. For me, I’m not just a therapist. I’m also a teacher. I’m also a mentor. It can be lonely sometimes. 

I participate in a monthly group in Relational EMDR Therapy℠ that helps keep me grounded in the shared experience of working with clients with complex trauma to heal attachment wounds. Working relationally has a particular vulnerability that requires a lot of support. The community and connection we share continues to inspire and invigorate me. And it keeps me humble. 

The Synergy in Training Cohorts 

It’s also important that therapists feel a sense of community and connection with their training cohort, whether it’s in the Basic or a Masterclass.  

The Center’s Basic Training is a six-month process from start to finish. A group of 9 or 10 people, together for their practice sessions and their case consultation, go through the entire training together. By the end of the training, they’ve bonded, and they often continue to meet with one another even after the training is over. They frequently continue to train with The Center because they value and appreciate that sense of connection and community with other clinicians who are lifelong learners. 

As a mentor, I go to great lengths to configure small groups of 4-6 people (for case consultation, to become a consultant, a trainer, or a member of the faculty) by putting people together who will not only work well as a group but complement one other. It’s important that the members learn from one another as well as from their mentor.  

When a group has synergy, the whole becomes greater than the sum of its parts.   

Being in community for us as therapists, is one way we take care of ourselves and bring our best selves to this work.  

Won’t you join us?