Pride — Our Superpower

June is Pride Month — a celebration of the LGBTQIA+ community’s resilience in the face of oppression and a call for continued equality and justice. Despite ongoing discrimination, the community continues to grow and thrive — that’s pride in action.  

Gay people have been around for centuries.   

Throughout recorded history, homosexuals have comprised a small but significant cohort of human society. Evidence of same-sex sexual behavior dates to the oldest written texts, first noted in Egypt 4400 years ago and subsequently found in Greece, Rome, and China.  (John Hodes, G&L Review, Evolutionary Origins of Homosexuality, Jan/Feb 2018)   

If the strongest and the fittest survives, as Darwin suggested, the LGBTQIA+ community and other minorities have proven they are among the strongest survivors.   

This is despite being denied and threatened rights, which are again being challenged by homophobic, xenophobic, and racist policies. There are societies that kill LGBTQIA+ people.   

Nonetheless, we are still here, and here, we will remain.  

Although there is no specific “gay gene” that determines sexual orientation, there is no “straight gene” that determines heterosexuality.   

The largest genetic investigation of sexuality ever, published in Science, found that sexuality is polygenic - meaning hundreds or even thousands of genes make tiny contributions to the trait, a similar pattern to other heritable (but complex) characteristics like height or a proclivity toward trying new things. (Andrea Ganna, co-author, A genome-wide association study (GWAS) Science, vol 365, issue 6456, 2019.)   

With growing recognition of its biological roots, homosexuality is seeing greater legal and social acceptance in many cultures—a sign of encouraging progress.  

The emerging understanding of the biology of sexual orientation indicates that same-sex, sexual preference is a naturally intended normal occurrence and should NOT be considered illegal or emotionally depraved. (John Hodes, Evolutionary Origins of Homosexuality, Jan-Feb 2018 issue, Gay, and Lesbian Review.)   

How Does This Information Help EMDR Therapists?   

Right now, our LGBTQIA+ clients are being threatened directly and indirectly. For example, trans rights are being abolished and threats to marriage equality are being challenged.   

As of April 29, 2025, the ACLU tracked 575 Anti-LGBTQ bills in the US (Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in the US, aclu.org / issues, LGBTQ rights.)  Although not all will pass, the mere attention to the demeaning, oppressive and annihilating attempts to be rid of LGBTQIA rights to exist is abuse beyond measure.   

Consider if there were 575 bills attempting to be rid of CIS gender or straight people’s rights to exist. Why is diversity  denied by some people enough to want to eliminate differences? (That’s another blog. Stay tuned!)  

Our older LGBTQIA+ clients are potentially reminded of “the old days” when coming out was only for the super brave or risk takers. Being closeted was much safer.   

Our younger LGBTQIA+ clients are perhaps experiencing oppressions and discriminations at a higher rate. The Trump administration has proposed eliminating all funding for the 988 suicide and crisis lifeline for LGBTQIA+ youth, effective October 2025.    

988 is a successful federal program that has been providing emergency crisis support to LGBTQIA+ youth considering suicide. Implemented in 2022, this program has provided more than 1.2 million crisis contacts with lifesaving LGBTQIA+ inclusive crisis services. Remember – suicide prevention is not about identity – it’s about risk. (Trevor Project, Trevor News, April 21, 2025.)   

As EMDR therapists, we need to understand how our LGBTQIA+ clients are living in a more compromised society again and how that implicitly and explicitly impacts our clients.    

Using AIP as Our Starting Point  

As EMDR therapists, Adaptive Information Processing (AIP) is our case conceptualization starting point. As fellow Center faculty member Debbie Marks stated in her blog, it’s an EMDR therapist’s North Star. Without understanding case conceptualization, a therapist looks for targets without a clear purpose for the work to be done.   

It’s what I call “target shooting.” 

When working with LGBTQIA+ clients, there are plenty of oppressive or discrimination-based targets to address. Instead of leaping into the land of aimless target shooting, let’s consider how case conceptualization provides a means to an end with any client.   

The AIP model offers EMDR therapists a way to understand our client’s lifelong internal “software” that could currently add to their symptoms, discomfort, and pain. For starters, to develop a collaborative case conceptualization, we want to know why a client is coming for treatment.   

These are some of the additional areas of focus the AIP model recommends when creating a case conceptualization:                         

• How will life be different, or how do they want their experience of life to be different?  
• What survival skills show up in their history that persist now? 
• What might the driving force be behind their adaptations and symptoms that are causing pain? 
• What are the client’s inhibitory and excitatory patterns of response and how do they show up now?  
• What are the client’s strengths and interests as well as their vulnerabilities?  
• What’s the primary theme of their most challenging hurts?  
• How is the past showing up in the present?  

AIP’s purpose helps us see the big picture (past present future) that clients have and want to put into practice over a lifetime. We need this perspective to help formulate the direction of the journey both therapist and client create together. Without it, we’re a ship without a compass.   

When working with the LGBTQIA+ community, understanding the elements of case conceptualization can help determine if the issue to work on first is discrimination and oppression, or developmental/attachment based. Most of the time, it’s all connected.  

A Client Example:  JD  

My client, JD, who had a complicated history including ongoing attachment trauma, shared with me at our first session that he always felt different and thought he might be gay. He grew up in a strict Catholic family of five children. An important value in his family was presenting to the community as a happy family and, individually, as successful members of society.   

He recalls the messages his parents gave were to smile, dress well and don’t do anything to bring shame into the family. This is not an uncommon dynamic in families but for this client – who felt different as a young boy and didn’t understand why – it took on a deeper meaning.   

These messages reinforced an adaptation of internalized shame for being himself and cultivated an overdeveloped skill of hiding who he was, at all costs. As a child and adolescent, he had no one to speak with about his sense of self and the confusions that led to his distorted conclusions about himself.  

He didn’t have words to understand what he was experiencing as a boy but believed he was defective because he felt different. Once in college, he was willing to explore his identity and had a brief romantic relationship with a male friend. Because his family strongly disapproved of this friend’s relationship with JD, my client ended both the romance and the friendship.   

By this time, JD understood that he wasn’t comfortable identifying himself as a straight man, and this presented a huge dilemma for him given the internal drive to please family and to fit into society’s majority.   

Oppression and discrimination often intertwine with other attachment and/or trauma challenges in complex and deeply personal ways. These are not isolated incidents but chronic stressors that impact identity, relationships, and self-esteem.   

At 61 years old, my client hadn’t dated since college. He told me – his gay-identied therapist – that although he thought he was gay, he stayed closeted to appear straight, and to belong to the white majority while also attending to the family “rules of engagement.”   

He didn’t want to force himself into a heterosexual relationship to “look straight” because he wasn’t attracted to women. As he aged and never married and remained childless, he feared this could cause others to doubt his straight identity.   

He became exhausted by this adaptation to hide from himself and to others.   

 He came to therapy with me at a time when he was boldly determined to explore his sexuality and move past his belief that love and his survival required hiding from his authentic self.   

For this client, seeking therapy occurred when tolerating his inhibitory responses which were once a lifeline for him, became intolerable.   

In addition, he didn’t want to become too old to explore his identity and approached therapy as his “Hail Mary” attempt at deepening his understanding of himself. (No pressure, right?!)  

Over the few years we met, he attended some gay activities and went on one date with a man. Again, these experiences were unsatisfying for him.   

 As we worked together, he reprocessed the internalized shame and oppressions he’s experienced in his family, as well as in the world. He reprocessed family and school-related attachment trauma, and we addressed adaptations. (He was not sexually abused for those that believe if you’re LGBTQIA+, you’ve been sexually abused.) He did deep, beautiful work.  

By the end of our work together, he concluded that he felt clearer within himself identifying as asexual.   

The umbrella term of asexual identity – also known as Ace or Aces – suggests that those who identity as asexual may experience little to no sexual attraction to others. Ace people can form many types of intimate relationships, whether romantic, platonic, or other forms of attraction and connection. Aces can engage in sexual activity for reasons other than sexual desire. Within the Ace community, there are many ways for people to identify. (The Trevor Project, “Understanding Asexuality,” Aug 20, 2021.)   

For JD, this identity made sense to him. It helped him understand why he didn’t have strong physical interest in men or women, although he felt strongly toward creating meaningful relationships with others.   

Despite the echo of family rules and the demand to present as a member of the majority, he grew confident in himself and his choices. He made sense to himself; his authentic self, despite the internal whisper to wear a mask. He understood the thread (which was more like a rope) from childhood to live hidden from himself.   

The Cost of Belonging  

The cost of belonging runs deep for many of us, some more than others. Identifying labels, such as “LGBTQIA+” or “doctor” or “mother” provides visibility and advocacy for ourselves and others, which validate our experiences and can create community.  

I sought consultation about this client several times, to ensure I wasn’t being remiss or having my own adaptations interfere.   

By the time we terminated, JD felt he had accomplished his goal and understood himself better. He was prideful of his asexual identity, having done the work to figure it out. Despite the work, he is private about how he identifies himself, which is his right, and very different than the adaptation to hide from himself and others.  

We spoke recently, and JD stated that the uprise in LGBTQIA+ discrimination and oppression has subsequently sparked concern for feeling different.  Although “the mask” is not his go-to as it once was, the threat of not belonging is indeed a primal need for all.   

Pulling this together with case conceptualization and understanding the past present connections were what cemented a framework for, most importantly, JD, and for me as we worked together.   

It felt like good work for both of us having the case conceptualization framework to guide the work and use as our compass. The past influenced the present and the healing work impacted his present and future sense of self.  

The Takeaway  

Pride is a superpower — a bold act of self-knowledge and defiance in the face of oppression. Discovering and embracing our true identities is never easy, especially when we grow up in environments that try to silence or erase us.  

If this message resonates with you, I invite you to  share it with your network. Help amplify the voices of LGBTQ+ communities and other historically marginalized groups who have long fought — and continue to fight — for dignity, justice, and equality.  

The work isn't over. If you'd like to connect or continue the conversation about these issues, I welcome you to reach out: robinrichardson2@me.com.  

A society that condemns homosexuality harms itself.  – E. O. Wilson (2012)